This week in irrelevance 10/20
A weekly installment of news from around the globe that I can’t bring myself to care about.
• Balloon Boy took us for a ride – Was there any doubt I was leading with this? What’s left to say that hasn’t already been said about this humiliating moment for Americans everywhere? Everybody ended up with egg on their faces, and for some reason people are still talking about it (guilty!). I can only hope for the sake of all parties involved that A) the parents are deported, B) the children are adopted by normal people, and C) we never, EVER report anything that happens in northern Colorado ever again.
• Lindsay Lohan’s dad wants to kidnap her – Lindsay Lohan is seeking a restraining order against her dad after he said he wanted to take her to an undisclosed location to try and straighten his troubled daughter out. I think I speak for the rest of the world when I say: Four years late, big guy.
• Scientist busted for selling US secrets - An American lunar scientist was caught after he tried to sell secrets to an FBI agent posing as an Israeli. Stewart David Nozette gained fame after helping discover evidence of water on the moon, and now he is facing some big-time charges. Nozette is contesting he gave away any of the weapons secrets, saying, “I’ve only shared them with my dog Duke, here, and he’s not talking.”
• McNabb just a little forgetful – The Philadelphia Eagles quarterback had another big mental lapse last week when he tried to call a timeout that his team didn’t have late in a 13-9 loss to the Little Giants…er…Oakland Raiders. He was criticized last season when he didn’t go for the win on the last play of overtime because he thought there was another one. Listen people, give it a rest, the man is an NFL quarterback. He can’t be concerned with inconsequential things like “rules” and “counting.”
• South Carolina senator frugal “like a Jew” – South Carolina Republicans, in an opinion piece that ran in the Orangeburg newspaper, showed their support for Senator Jim DeMint for watching the government’s pennies “like a Jew.” South Carolina — Apologizing in advance for our politicians since 1776!
• Octomom has her sights on Jon Gosselin – In today’s “Nothing could possibly go wrong here” news, the Octomom Nadya Suleman said she has a crush on Jon Gosselin, who has eight children with his ex-wife, Kate. So for those of you scoring at home, break out the calculators. Jon + Kate + 8 – Kate + New Kate – New Kate + Octomom – Common sense = ? Show your work.
