The King’s Back

Yesterday, I got the best phone call I’ve gotten since I’ve been at The Jessamine Journal.

“This is Tyler, can I help you?”
“Mr. Young, this is Elvis.”

My face lit up. The reason for my best day at work and the subject of the photo that put our little weekly on news stations around the country was calling me back. I mean, he’s the namesake (or picturesake) of this blog for cryin’ out loud. For a second, I wasn’t exactly sure that it was him, but then I recognized that slight northeastern accent when he said mis-TAH.

“It’s great to hear from you,” I said with all of the honesty in the world.

Turns out, Elvis wasn’t terribly pleased with some of the coverage that he got from that photo which got him “national attention” as he put it. He was especially frustrated with the claim that he showed up to court drunk and that the only reason he had his “outfit” on was to gain sympathy from the judge.

His drunkenness defense was that he was forced to take a handheld breathalyzer test (“which is illegal in the state of Kentucky,” he said) twice in the courtroom. He maintains that the machine had not been calibrated in some time and was sensitive to even the smallest trace of alcohol. He was clocked at twice the legal limit, but he said that he had gotten a ride from a Lexington police officer three hours before, and the cop did not say anything to him about it.

“The officer in the courtroom said he smelled alcohol on me, and he probably did,” Elvis said. “But if I was twice the legal limit at 9 o clock, I must have been four times the legal limit at 6. But that officer (in Lexington) didn’t charge me for PI or AI or any other I’s.”

You can’t make this stuff up.

As for the claim that he wore the outfit out of pity:

“I wore my outfit for one reason and one reason alone,” Elvis said. “To get a ride.”
“And it worked,” I said.
“Yea, it worked.”

At this point, I was trying to write as quickly as I could — you don’t want to lose gold like this. After about 20 minutes of conversation and a hilarious quote about the competence of the Nicholasville Police (“I read one of the officers shot a man in the leg over at the police de-PAHT-ment because he thought his gun was a taser; that seems awfully silly”), I was exhausted.

“My man, I would love to sit down and have an interview with you,” I said.
“Well mis-TAH. Young, I would like that.”
“Great, when is a good time for you?”
“mis-TAH. Young, I am free anytime.” (not surprised)
“Well how about Monday?”
“I’ll do it,” Elvis said. “I sure appreciate you listening to me. You know what I’ll do for you? I’ll wear another outfit, and you can take some pictures. I’ll wear the one from the Aloha Concert.”

I can’t wait.